HOUSTON – (Aug. 9, 2010) – As the first
day of school nears, children of all ages can experience excessive anxiety about
the experience of a new school year which could make the first day and weeks of
school a battle for families. Psychologists at Texas Children's Hospital want to
help parents understand their child's anxiety and share tips on how to help them
deal with it. It is important for parents to get their children off to a good first
day, first week, and first six weeks of school which will set the tone for the rest
of the year.
"Setting some time aside to ask your child what he or she is thinking about the
start of school is an opportunity to clear up unreasonable expectations, problem-solve
and plan solutions to perceived challenges, and provide the emotional support and
vote of confidence that most children need to manage their anxiety," said
Dr. Liza Bonin, Ph.D., clinical psychologist with Texas Children's Hospital
and Associate Professor of Pediatrics with Baylor College of Medicine. "Parents
play a key role in helping their children face the start of school with enthusiasm
rather than focusing on potential problems."
Texas Children's Hospital provides suggestions regarding the following situations:
Before beginning at a new school, Bonin suggests parents:
- Let your child know that it is absolutely
normal and typical to feel anxious about starting a new school. Common concerns
include worry about making new friends, teasing, finding your way around, what your
new teacher will be like, and academic expectations. Just the uncertainty and newness
of the situation is a common source of apprehension. Normalizing such concerns opens
the door to communication.
- Have a brainstorming discussion with your
child to give him or her outlet to identify and talk about fears and concerns –
whether real or imagined. Many times when children are able to talk with parents
openly about what scares them, fear is reduced.
- Communicate confidence in your child's ability
to manage the situation. To help your child these conversations should not just
be to feel supported in the moment, but to set the stage for your child to face
his or her fears and build confidence
- As part of the anticipation and planning
process, do a "walk through." Take a tour of the school before the first day. Let
your child become familiar with the new environment when you can be there for support
and problem-solving.
- Prior to the first day, connect your child
to at least one person at the school, preferably one staff (possibly at the time
of the tour) and one student (possibly a neighbor's child or friend from previous
school or year).
When your child does not want to go to school:
Whining about school is certainly not uncommon, but when a child seems dead-set
against going to school, parents may be confused on the best way to handle this
challenge. While showing empathy and support is one part of a parent's role in such
a situation, the most important parental message needs to be the clear, unwavering,
and matter-of-fact message that your child must attend school. This message needs
to be delivered without any wiggle room and without undue attention to the child's
statements that he or she is not going.
"Parents need to let children know that while they understand and feel compassion
for their concerns and fears, the only way to conquer those fears is by going to
school," Bonin explained. "Focusing on bravery and your child's ability to tolerate
the challenge is important. The anxiety will be temporary and manageable."
The worst thing parents can do is to allow their children to miss the first day
of school. Most school-anxious children can soon feel a sense of mastery after only
a few days once they have realized they can handle school. This is a critical development
task that can set the tone for the rest of the year.
Calming the parent's anxiety:
A parent's apprehension and uncertainties can easily be passed on to children, especially
hesitations around school. Children, particularly those who are prone to anxiety,
are more sensitive to potential problems. Such children pick up on a parent's nervousness
and often run with it. Approaching the school year in an upbeat manner is key to
starting the year off right for everyone in the family.
"Parents need to set the emotional tone for the upcoming year, focusing on the positive
opportunities and their child's capacity to manage the bumps along the way." Bonin
said.
"It is important to let your child know that anxiety is a feeling that can be tolerated
– and that difficulties, which are a part of life, can be worked on together as
a team. These encouragements will really help your child get through the first days
of school."
If anxiety persists:
For the vast majority of students, strong communication and parental support should
alleviate school-related anxiety. But for some children, the anxious feelings may
not dissipate as easily. Bonin stated that, "some 10 percent to 20 percent of children
and teens have anxiety that persists."
If your initial efforts to support your child in managing his or her fears are not
working, think about seeking a professional consultation. It is important to seek
a consultation sooner rather than later to prevent any unproductive ways that your
child could cope with their anxiety. Unhealthy means of coping can interfere with
the development of skills and happiness.
In addition to school counselors, most families already have a relationship with
someone who can help with this problem. Pediatricians are a fantastic source of
information and are well versed in being the frontline professional advocates in
helping manage school-related problems.
For more information, please visit The Psychology Service at Texas Children's Hospital
which offers intervention for anxiety problems using evidence-based and individualized
approaches.
Parents also can prepare for a healthy school year by ensuring their child has healthy
sleeping habits, eats a nutritious breakfast and lunch, and has a backpack that,
when filled, weighs no more than 5 to 10 percent of the child's body weight.
Get more back to school tips.
About Texas Children's Hospital
Texas Children's Hospital is committed to a community of healthy children by providing
the finest pediatric patient care, education and research. Renowned worldwide for
its expertise and breakthrough developments in clinical care and research, Texas
Children's is ranked in the top 10 best children's hospitals by U.S. News and World
Report. Texas Children's also operates the nation's largest primary pediatric
care network, with over 40 offices throughout the greater Houston community. Texas
Children's has embarked on a $1.5 billion expansion, Vision 2010, which includes
a neurological research institute, a comprehensive obstetrics facility focusing
on high risk births, and a community hospital in suburban West Houston. Get the
latest Texas Children's news on Twitter:
www.twitter.com/texaschildrens.
